I Heard the Bells

I've been feeling weighed down lately with the pain and sadness all around me. I can't decide if I've become more aware of suffering with age or if there really is more of it going around lately.

A couple weeks ago I ran into a friend whose son recently died just minutes after birth. She asked me how Clara was doing and told me what a special girl she was. She started to cry, saying that I got to keep my angel baby with me and that her angel baby was watching from up in heaven. I was at a loss for words. Here I am expecting our third child and she lost her son the same day she met him for the first time. What could I say that would make that better?

And this isn't my only friend to have recently experienced heartache. Another lost a baby at 19 weeks and had to pack away all the items she'd collected for their first son. Another friend's sister-in-law died in a tragic accident while on vacation and left four young children motherless. This friend had to have conversations about death and heaven with her children much earlier than expected.

And most recently, I discovered a good friend I knew all growing up who is also expecting her third child, has been diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer. The tumor has spread to both ovaries and her uterus now. Her children are the same age as mine. She's 27 years old. I sobbed as I read her blog posts about visits with oncologists and test results. I couldn't help but remember how this time last year she was writing me, telling me how strong I was after all that had happened with Clara. The irony was too much. My experiences pale compared to hers.

I had been pondering all of these experiences of people I love for a few weeks when I learned of the shooting in Newtown, Connecticut. First of all, I couldn't believe it had really happened. And after the reality of it sank in, I thought of all the parents of those children. The images playing on the news were too much to handle. Parents sobbing, children crying and running away from the school. I can't imagine anything more horrific for all the people who lived through that.

I suppose the shooting was kind of the last straw for me. Combining all that grief and pain from all those experiences was a heavy load to bare. Why does life have to be so hard sometimes? As I continued to ponder that over the days following the shooting, I ran across the words of the hymn, "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day," which has always been one of my Dad's favorites. The third and fourth verses are particularly applicable:

And in despair I bowed my head:
"There is no peace on earth." I said,
"For hate is strong, and mocks the song
"Of peace on earth, good will to men."

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep

"God is not dead, nor doth he sleep;

The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,

With peace on earth, good will to men."

Though it may feel there is no peace on earth, 'God is not dead, nor doth he sleep.' What a comfort it is to know that wrong will fail and right will prevail. I'm grateful for the way trials strength us and bring us closer to God. I am so grateful for the Savior, who died that we might be perfected in him. And that because of His sacrifices, He personally understands our pain. What a perfect time of year to be reminded that Heavenly Father is so aware of us and on such a personal level. He is there. He is listening, and He knows what we are going through. That knowledge is such a blessing.

Till, ringing, singing, on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime, a chant sublime,
Of peace on earth, good will to men!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas from our family, to yours...

2012 has been an exciting year for our family.

Brooke and Troy: Troy began his final year of medical school this year. He graduates in May!! We thought we’d never finish and here we are less than 6 months away. Troy is now interviewing for residency programs. We will find out where we’re headed next in March. Brooke was lucky enough to stay home with the kids again this year. In 2012 she took Clara to LOTS of doctor appointments and made LOTS of PB&J sandwiches for Jackson. She is also working on a very exciting project called: Bushman Baby #3. That’s right, we will be welcoming another baby boy into our family somewhere around May 3, 2012. J Clara and her little brother will be 17 months apart and we’ll be having a baby right before moving. It’s going to be an exciting and busy time!

Jackson: Jackson is now 3.5 and making us laugh everyday. He is a smart little guy who doesn’t miss a thing. Jackson loves the co-op preschool we do with friends. He loves his friends and is constantly asking to play with them. He also thinks a trip to the park is about the best activity we could ever do. He is also an excellent big brother. He gives Clara plenty of kisses and hugs and has taught her how to wrestle. Something the two of them love to do together.

Clara: This was a big year for our baby girl! On 11/11/11, (a VERY lucky day) we welcomed Miss Clara Brooke to the Bushman family. After she was born we learned she had Down syndrome and a large hole in heart called a “ventricular septal defect” or VSD. Clara underwent open heart surgery at Phoenix Children’s Hospital in May of this year to repair that hole. It is amazing the amount of progress she has made since then. She impresses us all with her determination. She has been an angel baby since day one and we just can’t imagine our lives without her.

Washington State Tour

Troy spent a few days in Washington state a couple weeks ago. He started his trip in Spokane, Washington for a transitional year (first year of residency) interview. He loved Spokane! He had nothing but good things to say, which is always promising.

{Davenport Hotel}
The coordinator for the residency program suggested Troy visit this historic hotel before leaving town. Troy said it was absolutely beautiful and the pictures don't do it justice. I was impressed because I thought the pictures he took were pretty good! ;) Apparently the hotel was about to be torn down when a contractor bought it and spent ___ million dollars renovating the place. It is now a 5 star hotel.

{River Park Square}
Troy loved downtown Spokane. Even though Spokane isn't a huge city, he felt like the downtown area felt that way. Lots of fun things to do and see. He liked this mall which was at the heart of downtown. This giant Christmas tree is pretty awesome.

{Seattle, Washington}
After his Spokane interview, Troy headed to Seattle to check out the University of Washington. During his interview, they took him on a fun tour of the city and he got some awesome pictures. Wow, Seattle is SO pretty. Once again, Troy told me his pictures don't do it justice, but I could see how beautiful it must have been in person. My traveling man has sure visited some cool places. I don't envy the way he's been living out of a suitcase so much lately, but it sure sounds glamorous to travel all around the country and have people take you to dinner and on tours of new cities. ;) I'm sure it sounds more glamorous than it is. Have I mentioned, I'd really love to just know where we're headed next?? Three more months, I keep telling myself, three more months. I'm sure it will go by quickly.

Ogre statue under an overpass. Apparently this is a hit tourist attraction. Random, but cool too.

My good looking Man in front of the scenic Seattle skyline. Seattle looks good on him, don't you think? :)

A Lindsay Visit

We were extremely lucky to have my sister Lindsay in town for the weekend earlier this month. I was sooo excited for her to come. I miss hanging out with this girl way too much. We didn't do anything too wild and crazy, we spent a lot of time visiting, watching Christmas movies, and eating yummy treats. We played and we saw a did a few Christmas activities, like a homemade hot chocolate bar, the Poinsettia Festival, a moonlit Christmas light tour of our street, and the Mesa Temple Lights. Linds and I also went to an ornament exchange one of my friends was throwing. We had fun making the ornaments together and we even won a prize for one of the ornaments we created. Jackson was so excited to have Linds around. He kept asking me if Lindsay could come play in his room. :) He also assumed the little Batman figurine Grandma sent was from Lindsay and he refers to it now as the Batman Lindsay gave him. :) I wish I had taken more pictures. Alas, somehow I only ended up with a few. Lindsay we are so glad you could come. We loved every minute of your stay, even that your flight was delayed and you got to stay an extra night. Yay! We love you, come again soon. xoxo

{Poinsettia Festival}

*More pictures in the preceding post.

{Neighborhood Walk}

{Mesa Temple Lights}

Poinsettia Festival

Over a month ago, I entered a giveaway hosted by a friend of mine who is a photographer. Lucky me, I won a mini holiday session with her!! We got to go to Phoenix to visit the Poinsettia Festival and have our pictures taken amidst a greenhouse of beautiful blooms. It was really fun. And to top it off, we ended up with a bunch of beautiful Christmas photos. I was thrilled. Observe the workings of the amazingly talented Jessy Erickson. (You can see the beautiful card,and Facebook cover photo she designed for us at the bottom of this post.)

After our photo shoot, we walked around and checked out the festival. We even saw Santa, which was great. Jackson was very excited, but he wanted me to sit close to him while he talked to the big guy. Santa was very persistent in asking Jackson what he wanted for Christmas. We haven't really introduced the idea of Jackson being able to ask for something in particular, he just knows that Santa brings fun toys. Jackson put his finger on his chin and said, "Hmm, maybe a new toy or somethin'?" Haha. I thought it was adorable. Santa was looking for something more specific and kept asking over and over so we said goodbye to Santa. :) We got our annual Santa picture though, which was great! And after seeing Santa Jackson jumped out some energy in the bounce house. Overall I'd say it was a productive morning.